The Classroom Climate Spiral

My oldest son is a soccer player. He's not the next Messi, Reynaldo, Maradona, or Pele. He's not even the guy who will be holding their bags at the end of the bench. My son is the hard working kid who finds a spot at the end of the bench hoping for fifteen to twenty minutes sporadically throughout the game. He's the resilient one who shows up to every practice, every extra goalie training, and every extra foot skills opportunity. He's the one who usually doesn't know the final score of the game but is excited to have been part of the team. We all know my kid. The names change. The situations change. He's the kid that we all want around because he's easy to teach, to coach, to be with. He's the one who says "Thanks Coach" after every practice. The one that makes it easy for us to go home every night.

For four years and eight different head coaches this young man was never a starter. He went out. He played. He found his time. He was excited for most of the moments. He'd come out of the game. He'd sit next to coach. He'd listen. He'd walk away from each game with a smile. It didn't matter if he'd won or lost. He would go months without taking a shot, not to mention scoring, and he would be fine. He walked away from each game being able to self-assess his game and always picked up two or three things he felt great about.

The funny thing was, very few of his coaches were big praisers. Occasionally one would say, "I was proud of your passing." Some would say, "Nice work today" or "You played well." None of them were jumping up and down shouting his merit from the hilltops. It didn't matter. My son saw soccer as a journey of success. His coach's put challenges in front of him and in his eyes he achieved. Even when he played children three years older, thirty pounds heavier, and thirteen inches taller, he walked out thinking he had played a good game. My son was on the upward spiral in terms of soccer.

This year is different. From an outside observer, his skills are better. The teams he is playing are better. This year, he notices the results of the game. He knows they haven't won a game yet. However, he has a belief why. To steal his term last night, this year's coach has an "absence of positivity." He's right. It's almost like nails on the chalk board listening to the commentary from across the field. "What were you thinking?" "What was that?" "You're not doing what I was telling you." "If you can't stay wide you will be sitting." It's not swearing. It's not individually demeaning for the most part. It's hard to listen to. The results haven't been pretty, but my son's desire for practice and games have diminished. He relishes when he gets the opportunity to practice with the other coaches, but as a team they are on a downward spiral.

As each school year moves through the natural peaks and valleys, there are days when children do great things and days that make us wonder. The year itself is short but the weeks within it can be very long. It is during these times that we need to make conscious choices about which direction are we pushing our classroom climate spiral. Children listen to our reactions, our comments, and look at our non-verbal gestures. It's November and the classroom honeymoons are over. It's at this time when we know each of our children, can we give the comment or direction that while not necessarily praising still carries the tone of positivity? Can we give the subtle pushes, even when we are tired or exasperated, that provide direction and choice? It is in these moments that our classroom climate is created. It is in these moments that our relationships are maintained. These are the times which truly make a difference our students lives. My hope is that each of us brings a positivity that helps our children move forward on a daily basis. We set them up for success or failure. How will you choose today?