With a Single Step

I was no different than anyone else. Freshly graduated from one of the best colleges in the state, co-winner of the senior award for education. I had the energy and gusto of both Laverne and Shirley in their television opener. I entered the world feeling I could do anything, I knew so much, and nothing could stop me. Thank goodness, the feeling passed. It took time, but slowly I began to realize not how much I knew but rather how much I didn't know. And when this new feeling resonated I had a choice. I could double down on my ego and demonstrate that I knew more or check my ego at the door and began to learn from others. As a teacher, an educational leader, a parent, and a person, I have seen people take both choices. Those who double down on their egos become powerful. They are vocal leaders in schools, communities, and friendship groups. Their voices are heard frequently and loudly in staff meetings declaring how the world should be. They often have large opinions and react to change slowly and defiantly. Since these individuals have figured it all out they are quick to share their wealth of knowledge with the world.

The journey of realizing how much one doesn't know is risky. Three or four times a year I have the opportunity to facilitate a Boot Camp for New Dads. In these sessions 8-15 gentleman come together preparing for that "new bundle of joy" to enter their world. Some have been uncles, raised kids before, or even the babysitter for their younger siblings. Most walk in having only held a baby once or twice in their lives. They come looking to find ideas, support, advice, and companions on the quest to raise a healthy child and to be a loving husband. Each gentleman leaves a little more informed, a little more confident, and a powerful connection with gentleman everywhere trying to make a difference. It is in this they realize they have taken a powerful step in their personal journey of fatherhood.

I received an email from a teacher just the other day. The teacher explained that the individual was applying for two different positions. The email was reassuring in the fact that the individual loved their job, but also began to see opportunities to try new things, grow and begin a journey a new. Powerful. Scary. A willing risk to begin a new step in a journey of both self-discovery and opportunities to help other learn and grow. Some will question this teacher's integrity. Double down on what they think a loyal teacher should be. Others will understand that for this individual to grow they must be a pioneer and explore new horizons.

Each day I watch my mother-in-law change and grow. She has raised to bright young women. She helped thousands of inner-city children learn and grow. She worked each day to make a difference. Nearly sixty days ago she lost her best friend, her mother. It was both a moment that one knew would come someday yet we all were in disbelief when it came. In sixty days, my mother-in-law has been both resolute in the idea that she can handle this challenge and move forward and taken a back in how to handle it. Each day she takes a step into the unknown trying new things to help improve her life, her families life, and handle her grief with sincerity. Like the self-discovering teacher she discovers what Rabbi Hillel the Elder identified long ago:

Im ein ani li mi li

U-ch’she-ani l’atsmi ma ahi

V’im lo achshav eimatai

Eimatai

If I am not for myself

Who will be for me

But if I am for myself alone

What am I

And if not now

When? When?

The idea that we need to advocate for ourselves yet advocate for others. If we don't change now, when will we change. The adventures of the new dad, the teacher, and my mother-in-law are all the same. Each is beginning a scary journey into the unknown that will change their paradigm forever. They go as willing participants, not with the ego and energy of the new graduate but with the humility and nervousness of adults with conscious hopes and dreams of a better life. They are strangers entering a strange land beginning with a single step into the unknown. We can make dreams come true, but only by taking the chance and going on the risky adventures together.