The Powers of Questions

A child sits in the back of the car and looks out the window. Abruptly the child shouts out, what's that? With little awareness the child has of other conversations occurring around him, the child's curiosity has been engaged and simply wants to know what he is seeing. Of course, we answer. We think to ourselves all questions are good questions.

The child grows older and slowly becomes a preteen. The questions still come. Dad, why do I have to do this? When are we going to get this? Why are you doing that? The questions change. The curiosity is still in place but internal motivation has arrived. The child wants to do something or not do something. The question in a relative simplistic fashion provides insight into the child's intentions and interests.

As the child enters their teenage and early adult years, the technique becomes more sophisticated. Can I borrow the car keys? Can you complete the FAFSA for me? What would you do if a friend said this? The teenager/early adult learns to mask their interest by hiding it in situations others are experiencing or by simplifying the question to mask intent. The individual knows what they want, but searches for ways not to give their position.

As adults the questions continue to become more sophisticated. Each question asked in front of an audience in a certain way to provide insight and to produce a certain effect. Why do we have to administer this PARCC assessment? How are parents going to perceive this? What if we tried this, would this be ok? Sometimes adults ask questions for clarification, would it be ok if we completed the form this way? As other times we ask questions to establish a position, how will a third grader be able to sit for that length of time? At times adults ask to move a process forward, what if we tried this instead? Adults can also ask questions to impede a process or procedure, but what if this happens or but what about this? Recognizing the insight and effect of a line of questioning is important and powerful leaders, participants, coaches, and audience members. Sometimes questions adult questions are valuable and sometimes they are individuals ways of creating roadblocks. When working with adults it is ok at times not to answer every question. For some questions, there are no answers. For some questions, the answer is that they will not get their preferred outcome. The difference between "what if this happens?" and "if this happens, could we try this?" is enormous. One participant is invested in you solving the problem and one person is invested in solving the problem with you. We are all in a better place when we are solving the problem together.

How Much for the Squirrel?