Dare To Be Different or True to Thy Self

Growing up, my aunt and uncle lived just down the street. Frequently when my parents weren't home, I would spend time hanging out at their house. Sometimes I would be annoying my cousins or being tormented by them, depending on the day, sitting with my aunt discover new plays, television shows, or foods, or watching my uncle build something creative. Everything there was unique and different. It was a potpourri of creativity.

From my eyes, my uncle was very talented, creative, and practical. In the view of a seven year old boy, he had a gruff exterior but a warm heart. Long before being environmental was popular he built a greenhouse from an old porch area and connected it to the house. All year long there were unique things growing inside. He had a garden area where he grew plants. Before stir fry became a thing, he made "geevil" a bunch of fresh vegetables sautéed together with whatever was left in the fridge. He built a deck on the back of his house that connected to the second floor and had the greatest lamb on a spit that I can remember. For life in the late seventies and early eighties he walked upon a different path.

As I knew my uncle, he was a thinker and a tinkerer. I remember taking long evening walks with him, my dad, and the dogs. We traveled the streets of Downers Grove for what I believe was miles, but I was a kid. As we walked he would talk about politics and science. He would express thoughtful views on so many things in the world. My dad and him would analyze everything as if they were in the salons of Europe two hundred years earlier.

In an era of Cold War politics and yuppy materialism, my uncle was the tinkerer who rebuilt everything, drove around an old right-handed drive post office jeep with the dog in the passenger seat, and retreated each year to an isolated cabin in Canada with no running water. In an era that pushed for conformity, he walked a different path. He found meaning in other things and showed my brother and I that there were other things one could do. He was a successful business owner, yet found meaning in things far greater than that.

As we raise our children, are we giving them the courage to be different? Do we give them the opportunity to explore their interests and be one with themselves? Living life within our true interests and self requires a tremendous amount of inner peace. I thank my aunt and uncle for helping teach me this. As I look at the lives my cousins, my brothers, and I lead I see it. I see it in a daughter who each year participates in Doctors without Borders, a granddaughter who plays roller derby, a son with a deeply religious family, a nephew who builds the most amazing creations and works deeply to preserve our world and another nephew who studies the ancient world. Very different lives in a world that likes sameness.

Last night we lost Uncle Deedles. While I hadn't seen him often since they moved to the west coast. Each time I had the opportunity it was like picking up exactly where we left off. Thank you for teaching each of us it was ok to question assumptions, be unique, and live different lives. It may not have been in words, but it was modeled in everything you did. 

Logan and I are going to go for a walk now. Maybe its time we got a dog too. 

We will miss you.